Archive for June 2009

Home Archive for June 2009

You'll have to forgive the frumpy clothes. I wasn't in the mood to look pretty today. LOL!

As so many women may remember with their pregnancies, there is a wall that every pregnant woman slams into. It doesn't always pop up at the same time, but one is guaranteed that it will pop up. I have now hit that wall; time is slowing down, my body is falling apart, I am grumpy and irritable, and did I mention time is slowing down? I feel like I have been 34 weeks and some pregnant for a few weeks now, and I am ready for this week to be over. I'm hoping this is just an anomaly, and time will get going again soon.

I am starting to wonder if my wall popping up this week had something to do with the fact that I have stopped taking the White Oak Bark my midwife prescribed. One is only supposed to take it for four weeks, and mine were up. This past Sunday was when I stopped taking it, and Monday was when I suddenly felt like Ian had grown a lot overnight, stretching me to the point of discomfort. Who knows? Just something else for me to ask the midwife about.

The veins in my leg are continuing to get worse, so I have started wearing two of my stockings on the same leg. That has helped, but we shall see how long that lasts.

The muscles in my abdomen and back are suddenly feeling incredibly stretched out and tired. Standing for an extended period of time (say 20 minutes) causes a soreness in my upper abdominal and middle back muscles. Also, sitting with my feet resting on the floor causes the same soreness and tiredness. I mentioned this to David this evening, to which he tried to comfort me by starting to say, "Well, you're how many weeks along now, 35?..." I knew what he was going: "You only have a few more weeks to go.", so I cut him off by saying, "I don't want to talk about it!!" Oh, my poor David, he puts up with so much abuse! To my defense, I have tried telling him as kindly as I can that I do not wish for any encouragement that reminds me of how much further I have to go. I just want him to say "Oh, honey, I'm sorry you feel that way.", or something of the like. I have told him this, a few times, but...it doesn't quite seem to be sinking in. Oh well.

On a positive note, my early GBS test came back NEGATIVE!!!! I am going back for another test on Monday; let's hope for the same results! Although, I am still not sure if I am going to take precautionary steps anyhow. I'll have to discuss it with my midwife.

It is so hard to believe I am going to be 34 weeks pregnant tomorrow! This pregnancy has gone by so quickly, for which I am very grateful! Emmaline has been a great distraction, not only for me, but for other people. Since Emmaline is almost always with me I haven't had as many people asking about, or even noticing for that matter, my pregnancy this time around; they are all distracted by how "cute" Emmaline is. Since I haven't been forced to discuss it with every person I meet, this pregnancy hasn't really been on my mind constantly. It has been a great relief to me.

I had a day of panic when it hit me that I am now possibly six weeks away from going into labor. It just kind of snuck up on me. After my dismay and anxiety passed, I found myself actually excited about feeling the first twinge of a contraction. Maybe the Lord settled my heart and spirit, somehow assuring me that this labor was going to be different. I am sure it will still be hard and painful, but at least it will be different. I have all my bags packed and am just waiting to deliver some items to my sisters sister-in-law before I get the van loaded up and ready. I will save one small suitcase to load up last minute, but mostly I am ready to go. I am supposed to bring four pillows with me to the birthing center, which I had loaded up and ready last time about two months before Emmaline actually decided to come. This time around I am going to have to put those in the van last minute as well; either I have lost some pillows along the way, or am using a lot more of them this time around. Who knows?

It has been a while since I have felt miserably stretched out and uncomfortable. I am somewhat surprised at how small Ian is for as far along as I am. I have had the few people who do ask about my pregnancy respond with surprise when they find out just how far along I am. My midwife said I was measuring three weeks behind, "Like last time" when I went to see her last week. For some reason this information didn't really register with me at the time, so I failed to ask her if "last time" meant when I was pregnant with Emmmaline, or the last time I had been measured. I will have to try to remember to ask her about it the next time I see her.

My vein problems are still worsening. It has now progressed to the point where sitting on chairs that keep my feet from resting on the floor properly causes pain, discomfort and lack of circulation in my legs. My feet start to swell up and my legs begin to ache. If I sit at all now I pretty much have to keep my feet up on something and lean back a bit. Otherwise keeping my legs up puts pressure on my belly which in turn puts pressure on my stomach, which in turn makes me feel sick.

Despite these complications/discomforts I am feeling pretty well, and do my best not to complain. I may have circulation problems, but at least I am not throwing up all the time. I still consider myself blessed by God to be carrying another child and to have another opportunity to be a mother. However, with all that has happened I have seriously been thinking about whether this is God's way of telling us this is as many children as we were meant to have biologically. I must admit that I have begun to wonder if it is wise to put my body and life at risk for the sake of bringing another child into this world when we could and want to adopt other children. Would it be better to be a mother to many children, even if they are not my own, or have more of our own children but possibly not be around to be their mother? I am leaning toward the first part, but David and I do not want to make this decision lightly. We still have a lot of praying to do before a decision is made, and we will trust in the Lord no matter what to take care of us as He has so far!

This past weekend was my baby shower! I had such a blast with my sisters and their families in the house. Emmaline played her little heart out with her cousins. She was so excited to see kids. As soon as she saw Amber she said, "Kid! Kid!" But what's so funny is she puts extra emphasis on the "d"! And she recognized Andrew right away and pronounced his name "Awndrew" the whole weekend. This was surprising to me, since she has never once attempted to say his name, so far as I can remember. Rod and Elin were great about playing with the kids, so they all enjoyed the attention. Meanwhile, we parents just sat in the living room chatting, knowing that as soon as Rod and Elin have kids they will be doing the same: letting all the children play together while you get a short respite with peace and quiet.

I laughingly challenged my niece Amber to go two minutes without asking a question: "Amber, I double-dog dare you to not ask a question for two minutes!! Watch the clock and see if you can do it!!" She thought this a neat idea for about 10 seconds then asked me, "What's a double-dog dare?" Hahahaha!!! You gotta love 'em!

Anyhow, my sisters love me so much they made a cake, from scratch!!!!, for my shower. It was so delicious!!! They even made their own fondant to go over the top of the cake, and it was way better than any fondant I have ever had! And the icing was to die for; I made Erin leave behind the leftovers. That can be my altogether healthy night time snack.

I had a wonderful time at my shower, and enjoyed being able to chat with all the ladies without having to watch Emmaline. Everyone was so gracious and generous. I am so thankful for the women the Lord has brought into my life. I have so many friends and acquaintances, which is highly unusual for me. I am slowly becoming more and more social, and have really enjoyed the feminine support and friendship I have encountered through our new church family. I am so blessed!

Erin, Elin and Lisa did a wonderful job throwing this shower for me, and I am just so grateful that there are people in my life who care enough about me to do such a thing! Thanks you guys!!! The only thing that could have improved the day is if my parents could have been here! I miss them so much!

After the shower we went out to eat, then came back home. The boys played a game that David bough recently and has been dying to have someone masculine play with him. We girls decided to wind some yarn and had a good time doing. More times than not I ended up getting tangled in it. My one claim to fame will never be grace!

While we were gone at the shower the boys were kind enough to watch our little chicadees for us. They had a good time playing in a tiny pool and making an improvised slip'nslide. I told David that one of the wonderful things about leaving children all alone with their fathers who are left to their own devices, is finding out what incredibly outrageous thing(s) the fathers have done without adult(mom) supervision. I won't even tell you guys how David got the children to slide down a tarp in our front yard. It's just something we mothers would never even think of doing! LOL! Well, all of our children are in one piece and uninjured, so it can't have been all that bad. Thanks to the guys, too!!